We survived Irene. It was a lot of rain and some wind. It was being cooped inside all day. It was four dudes (two under the age of five) and myself. Inside. All day. It's really too bad that my visit with my brother and nephew was plagued by Irene. I was looking forward to hanging out at the park, playing baseball and soccer, blowing bubbles, squeezing in a jog or hike, and taking my nephew to Skinny Dip for frozen yogurt. Instead, we played MarioKart. I cooked. The bro and hubs assembled a bike. I never had my camera near to capture those sweet moments between Lil'T and the nephew. The bro and nephew were stopping in on their way home from the family reunion. I'm glad they decided to visit and didn't want to see them go. All the way to Mississippi. Another 12 hour road trip in less than two weeks. That bro of mine is crazy!
Because I am devoted to Lil'T, I never feel like time is adequate. I cannot seem to have normal relationships and/or conversations with others. My sister's visit was too short. My mother's visit was so brief, I haven't even mentioned it. After watching my nephew for the summer, she had difficulties parting (to put it lightly). She was here for less than 24 hours, but only physically. My brother left yesterday morning. My husband accompanied his parents to the coast to check on the house an hour later. I went from full house to eerily quiet. Back to me and Lil'T. I was drained. When I think I can't go on. When I think about leaving. When I consider running away. I see the most precious thing. I have a reason to smile and he smiles back.
The day after Irene, the sky was blue, but I couldn't shake the clouds. The dark cloud of self loathing rained on me. It pours too often.
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